ambition

oh hi. :) I'm back. Today is Monday. I'm supposed to go to work today but i feel like i don't want to go to work and look at the pc again. sucks. so i told my engineer i'm ill and i can't come to work. so let him be busy. but i guess he will be not in the office. yeah right.. just relaxing. i think tomorrow i'll be busy since there were lots of pending complaints, penidng replies email. hmm. *sigh*

today i spent my time at home. send msg to boyfriend. well he do knows that i'm not actually that ill. haha. and i spent my time practicing my modern chinese painting again. *phew* no class last week. cancelled. umm.. two more days for salary to comes out and start savings. i need it when really need it. (what was i sayin? :s) i hope i will be accpeted to a university. I'm kinda bored working with my company. I'm bored with my job. or probably i'm not ready to move on with a bigger job or maybe i'm just scared to be given a job that i don't really want to do. what do i want?

ok lets begin. at the age of 21/22 (as i remember), i don't really know what was my ambition. i was not thinking straight. before in secondary school i want to be a doctor. (ahah.. every kid want to be a doc). but then .. as i grew up.. everythings change. i'm blank. so after i graduate, i wanted to do different thing. something i can do naturally. naturally comes out of me. i started to surf in the internet and i found AHAH! oohh.. a blog skin. wooah.. make your won blog skin using what software?! and i kept on searching and learning. And now i know PHOTOSHOP is a very interesting to explore and learn. I learn alot (but not really.. just the basic things). i began by making a blog skin for a free website like bloggers.com ( and i signed up for blogger too. haha) . I searched dozen of tutorials. interetsing tutorial for a beginner like me. then i upgraded myself by learning HTML (currently learning how to use CSS). and move on to editing photos, photo manipulation, makin' my own wallpaper. hehe. interesting? till now, i still do it. i think i become one of the genius geeks in the world. haha. just kiddin'. ;) .

back to my ambition. now. i want to be an illustrator for children book. at least one. why? i don't know. the feeling keep on coming and so strong sayin' that show to the world that you can do that too though you are not an art student, not an artist (but pretend to be an artist), not graduated from art school .. show your skill girl! yaeah! i like to draw, doodling on any papers (haha.. i do this in the office too), scan my work and colored it n the photoshop ( more easy for me) and .. i take art lesson! wow. i pat myself. keep doin' it girl. you don't know what happen next. a miracle maybe. :) haha. i know. i'm a dreamer.

i wish my dreams come true...